Bold Audacious Sky
I want the sky.
I want to own the sky.
That’s my sky.
That is my sky!
I want the sky to be me.
I want the sky to be me!
A few months ago, my Mom sent me this poem that I dictated to her when I was 3 years old. Accompanying the poem, was a picture of me around the same age. I stared at the little girl and wondered where she got the boldness to speak those words. As I deeply searched my soul to find this little girl, I continued to question what made me say that about the whole sky. This little girl had the courage to believe that not only could she have the sky, but she could be the sky. She did not see limitations. She just believed. Audacious… absolutely audacious is the exact word that came to my mind.
The 3-year-old poet was born to a 17-year-old unwed black mother in the 1960s. My birth was not necessarily celebrated. I was forbidden, at times hidden, and even denied. Nevertheless, I knew I was greatly loved. My mother - brave, smart, loving and relentlessly supportive to this day - instilled in me the desire to BELIEVE, teaching me still to BELIEVE with truth and trust in God no matter what. By the time this poem was written my biological father had left the scene and was barely present in my life, but his sense of imagination and entrepreneurship is my birthright and I am grateful. My grandmother - brilliantly creative, fun loving, carefree and delicate like the daisy she was named after - taught me to be free and quirky. My grandmother was fatally challenged by alcoholism and cancer, yet she never failed me. To this day she inspires me to still BELIEVE. And then there was my strong, tall, larger than life, wise as Solomon Grandad. Oh, how we loved each other! He too had his challenges, dark secrets and a third-grade education, but that did not stop him from being an amazing grandad who fortified me in this one thing…to simply BELIEVE. Several years passed my Mom married and this little girl had a Dad to call her own. My sweet Dad won my heart piece by piece. He restored my faith and gave me the courage to BELIEVE once again.
This is not a perfect picture. Parts of the background and history of this picture tell a story of disappointment, shame, abandonment and sadness. The end road for this child’s life, my life could have so easily been very hopeless. But God’s amazing grace saved all my days and used a handful of imperfect but love-filled people to birth in this little human a bold notion to just simply and audaciously BELIEVE. BELEVE that there is more to life even when scarcity is all around you. Trust that there is a life that is filled with abundance, liberating truth and an honest smile awaiting you at the end of the day. It may never be perfect, but if you can BELIEVE and “learn the unforced rhythm of GRACE my friend you will be the SKY!!!
“Perfect love” not perfect people drive out fear. I am grateful for all my imperfect people that taught me to love intensely and BELIEVE Audaciously!
Renee Dixon
Integer Network
Personal Growth Coach