How understanding the Enneagram can help you forgive yourself and those around you

Forgiveness is the action or process of forgiving or being forgiven. The definition says it’s a noun, but it feels like a verb, even saying “action” in the definition. When I think of forgiveness it feels like a word that moves and changes. We all know forgiveness is tricky we can be doing the hard work of forgiveness and then bam we realize it feels like no work has been done at all.


“We can be doing the hard work of forgiveness and bam realize it feels like no work has been done at all.”


I did a quick google search on forgiveness and, without opening any link, this is what I found. 8 Keys to Forgiveness, How to Forgive in 15 steps, How to let go of Grudges and Bitterness…


I am sad to say but the art of forgiveness just isn’t that simple. I wish it was. There may be tips and tricks to forgiveness but there is not a 15 step regimen to help with deep wounds or small cuts that come from being hurt.


The Enneagram provides us with knowledge into who we are at our core and when we are in a relationship with others it provides keys to who they are too. This can open up communication and a deeper understanding with each other that I just can’t help but believe would foster forgiveness. It would still be work but a work that starts right at who we are at our depths. This kind of work ministers to our souls as well as others.


“The enneagram provides us with knowledge into who we are at our core,”


Each type looks at the world differently. We each hang on to offense as an individual person. Some of us hold a grudge longer, some are harder on themselves, some types stuff all offense, and others seem to blow up at everything. When we take the time to learn ourselves and others we can learn what each type needs. What is important to me? How do I hold onto offense? How do I communicate offense? How would they receive me in a way that won’t cause offense? How can I understand what they are feeling right now? The Enneagram can be used as a decoder ring on each other.


“The enneagram can be used as a decoder ring on each other.”



Forgiveness is something that happens on the path to growth. You now have tools to navigate conflict and resolution, you can now let go of offense and understand your needs and the needs of others better. We trust the Holy Spirit to work in us and in others, then the work of forgiveness can be started.


Health is something we will always move towards, it’s a work that is never quite done. When we apply the principles of the enneagram we can know ourselves better, we can know our triggers, we can know our flaws and fears at an intimate level. With this knowledge along with walking in the grace and forgiveness from the Holy Spirit, we can learn to navigate conflict in a way that fosters forgiveness and understanding.


If you do not know your number or those in your families type or really anyone that you could have a conflict with, let’s chat. We can put you on a path to growth and health and better communication.


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